After overlooking the 3-hour cook time for Goop-style brisket, I made her Chicken Milanese my fallback plan for the night:
Recipe
chicken breasts/cutlets
bread crumbs
milk
olive oil
Fold the chicken between parchment paper (leaving plenty of space around...) and pound the crap out of it. Gwyneth prescribes a pseudo-scientific 1/6" thickness, but I think the key takeaway is to make it as thin as you can before your neighbors complain. Dip the chicken in milk, dredge through bread crumbs, and pan-fry in about 1/4 cup oil. If it's thin enough, it should just be a couple minutes per side.
On the Side
Gwyneth lists a couple options to pair some produce with your chicken. I started with her roasted cherry tomatoes and arugula, but substituted based on what I had on hand (which also happens to be some of my favorites). I ended up tossing the tomatoes along with chopped sweet potatoes and carrots with some olive oil and spices. Roasted it at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes - until the tomatoes split and the sweet potato was soft - then stirred in a few handfuls of spinach.
Here's the finished product: